We’ve all been there — the giving and receiving ends of unrequited love. If rejected however, do not despair, because maybe your crush is totally oblivious to your hints of love. A Reddit thread asked, “Ladies, what is the most obvious hint you’ve dropped that went unnoticed by a guy,” and the responses did NOT disappoint.
I picked out the best ones from the thread below…enjoy!
1. Just ignore the school girl outfit and stripper pole
.. i have a pole in my living room. so one day i dressed like a school girl and waited for my boyfriend to get home. he walks in and i started doing some pole tricks and he literally walked past me into the bedroom to change.. i was like ‘uh hellllooooo im trying to fuck’ and he said ‘oh i just thought you were dressed like that’.
he kinda killed it.
2. This guy had his priorities straight
Early interaction with my boyfriend-
Me: “That suit looks great on you. It would look better on the floor.”
Him: “That would wrinkle the suit.”
3. He was probably trying to hide his boner
Last summer I was doing my best to seduce who is my current boyfriend. We were going swimming at a friend’s house, and while they were changing into their bathing suits in the house, me and him make our way to the pool.
I take advantage of this moment to strip in front of him, as sensual as possible. (Bathing suit was underneath my clothes.)
He runs past me, full sprint, and cannonballs into the pool.
4. What a gentleman!
I love to share this one: A long time before my husband and I started dating we were partying in my apartment. He said he was going to crash on the couch. I told him “you can come sleep in my bed”. I shit you not he said “well where would you sleep? I can’t kick you out of your bed.”
5. The ultimate signal: “MINE”
At the end of high school, I found out that one of my close female friends had a huge crush on me for years, and I had missed all of her signals.
We remained chat buddies as we went through college, and at one point she invited me to her sorority’s yearly ball. I said “Sure, that sounds like fun!” Still didn’t get it.
As soon as we arrived at the ball, one of her sorority sisters sidled up to me and whispered: “Careful, we spiked the punch a LOT. Don’t drink too much; you’ll thank me later.” Okay, starting to wonder…
While I was debating in my head whether to try flirting with her or not, my friend sat on my lap, looked at me, and said: “MINE.”
The rest of the night was glorious.
6. To be fair, holding hands is basically an extended high-five
Put out my hand for him to hold and he high fived me.
7. “Hugo Weaving is such a great wingman”
Sighs So I’ve actually had sex with a girl before realizing she was actually into me.
She knocks on my dorm room door wearing a miniskirt and carrying a chocolate cake (a whole chocolate cake) and says she just baked it and was wondering if I’d like to try some. I tell her that I’m not a big fan of chocolate (crushing her) but was intelligent enough to add that I’d like try it anyway. We set the cake aside. I invite her in and she asks what I’m up to.
I tell her the truth, that I was about to start watching V for Vendetta, and she squeals that she loves that movie and asks if she can watch it with me. We lay down on my unfolded futon and start watching it together under a blanket (this was in the dead of Boston winter).
We’re watching the movie and she starts making all these comments about Hugo Weaving. “I love Hugo Weaving so much.” “God, Hugo Weaving is so hot.” “Man, Hugo Weaving makes me so horny.” And all this time I’m like “yeah he’s a great actor I loved him in the Matrix.”
Maybe 20 minutes pass by and all of a sudden I feel her rubbing up against me and she’s, well, touching herself. “Sorry, I hope you don’t mind, I just got really horny and couldn’t help myself.” And here I am thinking I’m the luckiest dope in the world and I’m so glad I picked a movie that had Hugo Weaving in it. Of course I say something like “oh, uh, that’s OK. I understand. I have actresses that really do that for me, too.” And I do absolutely nothing because I still don’t get that she’s coming onto me.
Another ten minutes of this pass before she just turns to me and asks “Can I suck your dick?”
And my mind– my very underdeveloped pathetic mind– my very first thoughts were “Hugo Weaving is such a great wingman” and “Damn talk about being in the right place at the right time.” It took me another year before I realized it was all a ruse to get to me and I could have been watching any damn movie at all the whole time with more or less the same result.
8. Google is not your friend
One time I was texting my bf and told him that I bought a vibrator for the nights he was away at work or something rather. his exact response was, “oh cool, what colour?” I sent him a pic of it and he replied with “can you put it up your butt too?”. I sent him a text replying, “come over and find out” and he replied two minutes later, “nevermind, I just Googled it”