I hate my job. The work sucks. The people suck. The pay sucks.
*looks up and sees motivational poster on wall*
Well this changes everything
— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) November 10, 2015
[waiting for elevator]
Coworker: Hey, how's it go-
Me: I'll take the stairs.
— moody monday (@mdob11) December 26, 2014
i want to work in this restaurant pic.twitter.com/zLRCEcPH3i
— eat the booty like ratatouille (@bonerman_inc) February 21, 2015
The problem with teaching a man to fish is that eventually somebody will microwave that fish in the work break room.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) January 12, 2015
STAGES OF WORKING FROM HOME
– Yay I get to work from home
– It would be nice to talk to people
– I hope that pigeon sits in the window today
— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) July 14, 2015
"It's five o'clock somewhere" I say as I leave work at 9am
— Gary’s Posts (@MichaelSmartGuy) January 20, 2014
95% of having a job is just saying “sounds good!”
— Jessica Misener (@jessmisener) June 1, 2017
Please quit telling me to “keep up the good work” the good work was an accident and impossible to replicate
— Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist) October 26, 2017
When my coworkers try to talk to me at 8:59 am or 5:01 pm. pic.twitter.com/qeypnQz6CF
— K (@KadijahChloee) June 27, 2017
How to be a grown up at work:
Replace "Fuck you" with "Ok, great"
— Pin Up Teacher (@pinupteacher) April 3, 2015
Me: It hurts when I go like this. *gets up and leaves and goes to work*
— Saucy Kensington 🔪 (@Book_Krazy) January 12, 2016
Coworker: Do you ever think about work at home?
Me: I don't even think about work at work.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 18, 2016
Me: Play dead
My Dog: *drives to my office and starts doing my job*
— Goats? (@Gooooats) February 8, 2016
I like to lightheartedly tell my coworkers, "Don't even talk to me until I've had my coffee!" And then I never get coffee.
— Julia Johns (@heyJuliaJohns) March 11, 2015
*Sets cellphone ringtone to sound like office fire alarm
*calls cell phone
— Liz 🎀💫 (@myboots111) June 15, 2016
In a meeting.
Can I go first? Thanks.
Gets up and leaves.
— GLT (@gaynorlsimpson) November 26, 2014
I photoshopped myself into a photo booth strip a coworker had on her desk and replaced it. And now we wait… pic.twitter.com/5WrRoUn7cV
— Max Miller (@RuinMyWeek) April 1, 2016
I'm trying to convince my coworker to go to lunch so I can eat the skittle under his desk pic.twitter.com/z8V3kVzuO2
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) February 3, 2016
co-workers: HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND?!?!
— Lil Pound Cake (@In_A_YamChele) May 22, 2017
Boss: go to hell
Me: so stay? or leave? I'm confused
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) July 21, 2016